My Name is (Real Dirty) Lyrics

Hi, my name is, my name is
(What? Who?)
My name is Slim Shady
Hi, my name is, my name is
(Huh? What?)
My name is Slim Shady

Ahem, excuse me
Can I have the attention of the cla*s
For one second?

Hi kids, do you like violence?
(Yeah, yeah, yeah)
Wanna see me stick Nine Inch Nails
Through each one of my eyelids?
(Uh, huh)

Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did?
(Yeah, yeah)
Try 'cid and get f**ked up worse that my life is?
(Huh?)

My brain's dead weight, I'm tryin' to get my head straight
But I can't figure out which Spice Girl I want to impregnate
(Umm)
And Dr. Dre said, "Slim Shady you a basehead"
Uh, uhh, So why's your face red? Man you wasted

Well, since age twelve, I've felt like I'm someone else
'Cause I hung my original self from the top bunk with a belt
Got pissed off and ripped Pamela Lee's tits off
And smacked her so hard
I knocked her clothes backwards like Kris Kross

I smoke a fat pound of gra*s and fall on my a*s
Faster than a fat bitch who sat down too fast
C'mere slut
(Shady, wait a minute, that's my girl dog)
I don't give a f**k, God sent me to piss the world off
Hi, my name is, my name is

(What? Who?)
My name is Slim Shady
Hi, my name is, my name is
(Huh? What?)
My name is Slim Shady

My English teacher wanted to flunk me in junior high
Thanks a lot, next semester I'll be thirty-five
I smacked him in his face with an eraser, chased him with a stapler
And stapled his nuts to a stack of papers
(Oww)

Walked in the strip club, had my jacket zipped up
Flashed the bartender, then stuck my d**k in the tip cup
Extraterrestrial, runnin' over pedestrians
In a spaceship while they screamin' at me, "Let's just be friends"

Ninety-nine percent of my life I was lied to
I just found out my mom does more dope than I do
(Damn)
I told her I'd grow up to be a famous rapper
Make a record about doin' drugs and name it after her
(Oh, thank you)

You know you blew up when the women rush your stands
And try to touch your hands like some screamin' Usher fans
(Aah)
This guy at White Castle asked for my autograph
(Dude, can I get your autograph?)
So I signed it "Dear Dave, thanks for the support, a*shole"

Hi, my name is, my name is
(What? Who?)
My name is Slim Shady
Hi, my name is, my name is
(Huh? What?)
My name is Slim Shady

Stop the tape, this kid needs to be locked away
(Get him)
Dr. Dre, don't just stand there, operate
I'm not ready to leave, it's too scary to die
(f**k that)
I'll have to be carried inside the cemetery and buried alive

(Huh, yup)
Am I comin' or goin'? I can barely decide
I just drank a fifth of vodka, dare me to drive?
(Go ahead)
All my life I was very deprived
I ain't had a woman in years and my palms are too hairy to hide

Clothes ripped like the Incredible Hulk
(Hachhh-too)
I spit when I talk, I'll f**k anything that walks
(C'mere)
When I was little I used to get so hungry I would throw fits

How you gonna breast feed me, mom?
(Wah)
You ain't got no tits
(Wah)
I lay awake and strap myself in the bed
Put a bulletproof vest on and shoot myself in the head

I'm steamin' mad
And by the way when you see my dad?
(Yeah?)
Tell him that I slit his throat in this dream I had

Hi, my name is, my name is
(What? Who?)
My name is Slim Shady
Hi, my name is, my name is
(Huh? What?)
My name is Slim Shady