What Kind Of Girl? Lyrics

Frank Zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Ike Willis (guitar, vocals)
Mike Keneally (guitar, synthesizer, vocals)
Bobby Martin (keyboards, vocals)
Ed Mann (percussion)
Walt Fowler (trumpet)
Bruce Fowler (trombone)
Paul Carman (alto saxophone)
Albert Wing (tenor saxophone)
Kurt McGettrick (baritone saxophone)
Scott Thunes (ba*s)
Chad Wackerman (drums)
Eric Buxton (vocals)

What's a girl like you
Doin' in a Motel like this?


"I left my place after midnight,
When I first got the call...
The escort service I work for
Said you wanted it ALL!"


Well, you came to the right place -- this is it!
I got the most sanctified johnson in all 'o Louisiana!
No shit!


"How true that is!"


How true, indeed Llama!


"The other whores at the service said
You helped fulfull their need!
I like to get right down...
Do you like to get right down too?"


Well, what did you have in mind?


"Well, I get off being spoo-ed upon
By hypocritical TV Evangelists
With close ties to the Republican Party,
While Ed Meese wipes his a*s
On the U.S. Constitution, screamin'...


'I don't think so --
can't remember --
I just could never do that --'"


That gets me so hot I could scream:
'Can't remember: don't remember who...
Wrote the memo, or to whom it's to...'


Your escort service is real far-out 'n groovy --
Ever been to the Texas Motel?
Let me take you dow-how-how-how-how-how-hownnnnn!


Magic Jesus by the bed,
Wall mounted TV screen,
My church plugged into the gravy train,
And Reagan keeps me clean!


What kind of girl?
What kind of girl would s*ck his rod?
What kind of girl?
What kind of girl would s*ck his rod?
(A lazy prostitute!)
We wouldn't blow you just because you know "GOD"!
What kind of girl?
What kind of girl would s*ck his rod?


This unfortunate little vixen wouldn't let just ANYBODY
Spoo all over her lap --
She wants an ignorant Cracker Evangelist
Who's reciting all that crapp...

Frank Zappa - Broadway the Hard Way

May 1995

1. Elvis Has Just Left The Building
2. Planet Of The Baritone Women
3. Any Kind Of Pain
4. Dickie's Such An Asshole
5. When The Lie's So Big
6. Rhymin' Man
7. Promiscuous
8. The Untouchables
9. Why Don't You Like Me?
10. Bacon Fat
11. Stolen Moments
12. Murder By Numbers
13. Jezebel Boy
14. Outside Now
15. Hot Plate Heaven At The Green Hotel
16. What Kind Of Girl?
17. Jesus Thinks You're A Jerk