West Texas Waltz Lyrics

When you're ready for steady to go dancin', romancin'
Grab your sweetheart and jump in your car
Drive right on down to the bright side of town
You'll be glad you don't have to drive far
You'll be happy you don't have to go far

Park your pick-ups and Cadillacs and fords and Renaults
Get out and dance like the d**kens to the West Texas Waltz

My pickup needs a tune-up, I better get up and make up
My mind to get on it today
The tractor's been actin' up and the sewer lines are backin' up
But I'll be dancin' tonight anyway
I'll be dancin' tonight anyway

'Cause I count my blessings, I don't count my faults
I like to dance like the d**kens to the West Texas Waltz

Well I found a young cow-dog an' I told him, "Now, now dog
You're a borderline collie, I'm a borderline fool'€
But he had some bad habits, he was scared of jack rabbits
I sent him off to canine school
I think they call it obedience school

But when he came back he couldn't tell a cow from a horse
But he could dance like the d**kens to the West Texas Waltz

Grand mammy, grand pappy if you wanna stay happy
Better lace up your best dancin' shoes
Come see us, don't write us, you can stop your arthritis
Just by dancin' away your blues
Now ,just by dancin' away your blues

So bind up your bunions with band-aids and gauze
And come on, dance like the d**kens to the West Texas Waltz
Oh yeah, hey Mama

I met a fine lady banker and I'd sure like to thank her
For the credit she gave me made me shout
She changed my whole attitude and to show her my little gratitude
I decided I'd just ask her out
Yeah, I thought I just might ask her out

I said, '€œClose up your windows and lock up your vaults
And lets go dance like the d**kens to the West Texas Waltz'€

We spent the next to last dollar in the old ice cream parlor
On a milkshake and a malt and a pop
And then we heard us some sounds, was a honky tonk lounge
Driving next to the ice cream shop
Next door to the ice cream shop

Now only two things are better than milkshakes and malts
And one is dancin' like the d**kens to the West Texas Waltz

And the other is somethin' but really it's nothin'
To speak of, it's somethin' to do
And if you've done it before you'll be doin' it some more
Just as soon as the dancin' is through
Right after the dancin' is through

And if anybody asks you why, just tell 'em because
You been dancin' like the d**kens to the West Texas Waltz

Joe Ely - Joe Ely/Honky Tonk Masquerade

Sep 2000

1. I Had My Hopes up High
2. Mardi Gras Waltz
3. She Never Spoke Spanish to Me
4. Gambler's Bride
5. Suckin' a Big Bottle of Gin
6. Tennessee's Not the State I'm In
7. If You Were a Bluebird
8. Treat Me Like a Saturday Night
9. All My Love
10. Johnny's Blues
11. Cornbread Moon
12. Because of the Wind
13. Boxcars
14. Jericho (Your Walls Must Come Tumbling Down)
15. Tonight I Think I'm Gonna Go Downtown
16. Honky Tonk Masquerade
17. I'll Be Your Fool
18. Fingernails
19. West Texas Waltz
20. Honky Tonkin'