The Unfortunate Miss Baily Lyrics

In seventeen forty-two, it was customary in the township of Halifax
For a gentleman to partake occasionally of ratafia
Which was a light-flavored liquor of amazing potency
Which originated in middle s*x
And which we suppose is the reason for this song

Oh, Miss Bailey! Unfortunate, Miss Bailey

A captain bold in Halifax who dwelt in country quarters
Seduced a maid who hung herself one Monday in her garters
His wicked conscience smitted him, he lost his stomach daily
He took to drinking ratafia and thought upon Miss Bailey

Oh, Miss Bailey! Unfortunate, Miss Bailey

One night betimes, he went to bed for he had caught the fever
Said he, "I am a handsome man and I'm a gay deceiver"
His candle just a twelve o'clock began to burn quite palely
A ghost stepped up to his bedside and said, "Behold, Miss Bailey"

Oh, Miss Bailey! Unfortunate, Miss Bailey

"Avast, Miss Bailey," then he cried, "You can't affright me, really"
"Dear Captain Smith," the ghost replied, "You used me ungenteelly'€
The coroner's quest goes hard with me because I've acted freely
And Parson Biggs won't bury me though I'm a dead Miss Bailey"

Oh, Miss Bailey! Unfortunate, Miss Bailey

"Dear Mam," says he, "Since you and I must once for all accounts close
I have a one pound note in my regimental small clothes
'Twill bribe the s*xton for your grave," the ghost then answered gaily
"Bless you, wicked Captain Smith, remember poor Miss Bailey"

Oh, Miss Bailey! Unfortunate, Miss Bailey

All's well that ends well, I suppose