Rufus Xavier Sarsaparilla Lyrics

Lyrics & Music by: Kathy Mandry & Bob Dorough
Performed by: Jack Sheldon
Now I have a friend named Rufus Xavier Sasparilla,
and I could say that Rufus found a kangaroo
That followed Rufus home
And now that kangaroo belongs
To Rufus Xavier Sasparilla
Whew! I could say that, but I don't have to
'Cause I have pronouns I can say,
HE found a kangaroo that followed HIM home
And now IT is HIS
You see, HE, HIM and HIS are pronouns
Replacing the noun Rufus Xavier Sasparilla,
A very proper noun,
And it is a pronoun replacing the noun kangaroo.
(How common.)
Now Rufus has a sister named Rafaella Gabriela Sasparilla
If she found a kangaroo I'd say to you
SHE found a kangaroo that followed HER home
and now it is HERS but I can't say that...
Because SHE found an aardvark
That fell in love with HER and THEY're so happy.
And my name is Albert Andreas Armadillo
(No relation to the Sasparillas)
Because of pronouns I can say:
I wish SHE would find a rhinoceros for ME
And WE'd be happy.
You see, a pronoun was made to take the place of a noun,
Because saying all those nouns over and over
Can really wear you down!
Now I could tell you Rafaella Gabriela
and Rufus Xavier Sasparilla and
Albert Andreas Armadillo found
an aardvark, a kangaroo and a rhinoceros
And now that aardvark and that kangaroo
and that rhinoceros belong respectively to
Rafaella Gabriela Sasparilla
and Rufus Xavier Sasparilla
and Albert Andreas Armadillo
Whew! Because of pronouns I can say in this way:
WE found THEM and THEY found US
And now THEY are OURs and WE're so happy
Thank you pronouns!
A pronoun was made to take the place of a noun
Because saying all those nouns over and over
Can really wear you down.
Sometimes when we take them all on the bus
People really raise a fuss
They start shouting out pronouns at us
Like, "WHO brought that rhinoceros on the bus?"
And "WHAT made that horrible noise?"
And "WHICH one of them's getting off first?"
WHO, WHAT, and WHICH are special pronouns
which can ask a question in the sense
where you do not know the name of the noun.
But I know
I have MINE and SHE has HERS and HE has HIS
YOU have YOURS
THEY love US and WE love THEM
What's OURS is THEIRS, that's how it is with
friends.
And pronouns, you are really friends, yeah!
Cause saying all those nouns over and over
can really wear you down.