Failure With Girls

I've got an ugly face, With spots all over the place, I haven't got any mates, And me clothes have gone out of date. I go to the pub on me own, And I drink me orange alone, I sit and stare at the crack, But they just turn their backs. I want to chat them up, But I stare at me feet, And then I go home and I beat me meat. I'm dead shy about the size of me d**k, And chips and gravy make me sick. I'm a failure with girls, I don't know why, He's a failure with girls, He don't know why. I'm a failure with girls, They're so unkind, He's a failure with girls, They're so unkind. I'm a failure with girls, They make me cry, He's a failure with girls, They make him cry. Only wish I could say that I don't mind. A Macc Lad of me took note, And he poured a pint of bitter down me throat, It were the first pint I ever had, And I changed to a real Macc Lad. Me clothes started looking real flash, I got a tattoo and a moustache, And me car got a go-faster stripe, And now I pull crack every night. And I'm not weak anymore, 'Cos me d**k measures three foot four, So don't you call me wimp, 'Cos it's three foot four even when it's limp. I'm dead macho with girls, I never fail, He's dead macho with girls, He nevers fails. I'm dead macho with girls 'Cos I sup ale, He's dead macho with girls 'Cos he sups ale. I'm dead macho with girls Thanks to Willies, He's dead macho with girls Thanks to Willies. Only wish I didn't have VD...