The song Kevin is performed by Pansy Division .
Kevin's mysterious and enigmatic
Kevin is tall and darkly attractive
Kevin's the subject of speculation
'Cause Kevin avoids any explanation
Kevin's a bachelor, never dated
He's had a dozen offers he's never taken
Kevin is friendly but can be remote
Avoids getting personal or too close
Women wan to know
Who's that handsome man?
Men ask their acquaintances
About that lad
Kevin's inhibited, Kevin's quiet
Intimacy seems to make him frightened
He was seen kissing a woman once
At a party when he was totally drunk
Kevin's got friends he could confide in
But he's always denied them
The simple facts, avoids revelations
Kevin's a master of evasion
Lives all alone, rarely goes out
Is there a double life we don't know about?
He won't say that he's gay
He won't say that he's not
He won't say that he's bi
He won't be pinned down
He'll say that he's picky
And refuse to be labeled
Then the changes the subject
As soon as he's able
His friends all see it as a matter of trust
They'd never judge him on his lust
They just wish he'd be more open
They're tired and resentful of his withholding
We're all in the dark
Because Kevin won't talk
We're all in the dark
Because Kevin won't talk
We're all in the dark
Because Kevin won't talk
But maybe Kevin's more confused than we are
Kevin. Kevin. Kevin.
Kevin. Kevin. Kevin.
Kevin. Kevin. Kevin.
Kevin. Kevin. Kevin.