My Dick

Everyone from across the nation I'm gonna tell you the new sensation A deviation For celebration From Tokyo to the Appalachians It's hip And it is my d**k Far too big to be called a prick My d**k is in Ruth, Claire, and Kim Makes Herman Munster look like Tiny Tim CHORUS: My d**k My d**k My d**k My d**k Like Zorro's Z My d**k Makes G G is Gook and Gook is me MC's game is makin a name But my d**k has a star on the walk of fame It plays one on one with Magic Johnson And beasts his a*s I say my d**k's so fast it didn't have to pa*s What do you do when you're d**k's so huge That John Holmes dreams of bein you But Holmes is dead didn't use his head This cock's gonna give a message instead To take your time Know your playmates don't be blind My d**k has its own zodiac sign So I know what I say I was born in April and my d**k was born in May CHORUS My d**k is great It satiates Every woman I've ever known to date They say they've never gone that far When I die they wanna put my d**k in a jar I refute Not only huge, but cute No Smithsonian Institute For me You have your memories Of a size an elephant envies But yet Let's not forget It's not just a measurement It's the way it pumps It fills ten cups Siskel and Ebert give it two thumbs up It's fate I'll be there tomorrow but my d**k is there today CHORUS Haiti! There's a temple there Where all the natives sit and stare At a photocopy of my dink That's truly righteous, don't you think? Every schoolboy's heard the legend Bout how my cork is girlie heaven Body burner Kathleen Turner Offered me a grand to learn here But I refused The holy meat won't be abused I will never come to choose For money it will not be used Integrity That is the path for me You'll come to see the life I lead Is of uncommon loyalty To my d**k Where it goes I'll follow it CHORUS (Well... but you should see it when it's hard)