Ernie Writes A Story Lyrics

Ernie is watching a movie on TV as Bert walks in
Bert: Ernie, what are you watching?
Ernie: Oh, it's a great old movie Bert.
B: What is it?
E: It's called ... it's just uh "Cowboys in Outerspace" Bert.
B: Ernie? Ernie? (E: Look at that!) Uh, can't you do something else besides watch TV? I mean, you've been watching TV all day long.
E: Well gee, like what Bert? I mean, it's raining outside Bert.
B: Well, I know it's raining, but Ernie there are other things to do inside besides watching TV.
E: Oh yeah? Well, like what Bert? AH!
B: What what?
E: Look at that! Those are just actors Bert.
B: I know, I'm trying to think what else you can do.
E: Ooh! Did you see that one Bert?
B: How 'bout reading? How bout reading? You can read, we have a lot of books here.
E: Reading? Well, I don't know Bert, I really don't feel like reading right now, Bert.
B: Oh. Well....um..
E: AH!
B: How 'bout writing a story? Hey, that's good Ernie, writing a story.
E: Writing a story?
B: Wouldn't that be fun, you could write your very own story.
E: Writing a story. That's a pretty good idea Bert.
B: Yeah. (Bert laughs)
E: Hey Bert, would you help me if I were to write a story, would you help me?
B: Well, I suppose I could give you ideas. Yeah, I'll help you, sure.
E: OK, Great.
B: Great.
E: Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm...
B (Faces camera) Terrific. Wow, no TV set on all day long. Oh great.
E: Hey Bert?
B: Huh?
E: C'mere Bert.
B: Yeah, well what do you want?
(Ernie and Bert are off camera)
B: Ernie! What are you doing?
E: Uh, we're writing a story Bert.
B: This is not writing a story!
(Ernie and Bert come in, Bert has a waste paper basket on his head)
E: This is the first stage, planning to write a story. You see, you can't just sit down and write a story, you have to plan to write it, and that's what I'm doing. Now, we've got paper, I'll take that paper Bert. Let's see we have paper to write on. And I have pencils right here to write with Bert.
B: *sigh*
E: And then I have my handy dandy pencil sharpener. And I have my eraser here Bert for any mistakes I might make, see I can erase them.
B: Uh-huh.
E: And I have a waste paper basket to put in .. a waste paper basket ... Bert, have you seen my waste paper basket?
B: Ask me that again and look into my eyes.
E: Have you seen ... Have you seen .. Oh! This is my waste paper basket.
B: Of course it's your waste basket!! You put it on my head!
E: Oh, thank you Bert.
B: Yeah, thank you.
E: That's my waste paper basket for throwing stuff in when I make a mistake, you see?
B: Ok, now Ernie, Ernie. You have planned your whole adventure in writing a story.
E: That's true.
B: All planned to the last detail ... all planned.
E: Right.
B: OK, now go to it.
E: OK, I'll see you around.
B: Ho, ho wait, well, where are you going?
E: I'm going to go outside and play in the puddles.
B: But why?
E: Well, you see Bert, I can't think of anything to write right now, Bert. But, when I DO think of something, I have it all planned. And thanks to you Bert, I couldn't have done it without you. Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm.
(Bert rests his head on the basket and shakes it in disappointment)

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