Uncle Bernie's Farm Lyrics

The song Uncle Bernie's Farm is performed by Frank Zappa in the album named Threesome No. 1 in the year 2002 .



Ray collins (vocals)
Jimmy carl black (drums)
Billy mundi (drums)
Roy estrada (ba*s)
Don preston (keyboards)
Bunk gardner (woodwinds)
Motorhead sherwood (soprano, baritone saxophone)

(I'm dreaming...)

There's a bomb to blow yo mommy up,
A bomb for yo daddy too! (ouch!)
A baby doll that burps 'n pees;
A case of airplane glue!
There's a hungry plastic troll,
To scarf yo buddy's arm!
There's a box of ugly plastic things marked:
"uncle bernie's farm"

There's a little plastic 'congress'
There's a 'nation' you can buy!
There's a doll that looks like mommy
(she'll do anything but cry) (yes, sir)
There's a doll that looks like daddy
(he's a funny little man...
Push a button 'n ask fo money:
There's a dollar in his hand!) (check his wallet)

We gotta send sanny claus back to de rescue mission!
Christmas don't make it no more!
Don'tcha know that murder an' destruction
Scream de toys in every store! (I think this is sold in new york)

There's a man who runs the country
There's a man who tried to think
And they're all made out of plastic
(when they melt, they start to stink)
There's a book with smiling children,
Nearly dead with christmas joys
And smiling in his office
Is the creep who makes 'the toys'
(they got this car, when it hits the wall, you can see the guy dying
You got little plastic pools of blood
Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho (I'm dreaming...)
...intestines...you can see right into his stomach...
There's this other thing, i...
I got bombs, I got rockets, I got a, I got a stillson wrench
And comes with a tape recorder...
I got plastic bra*s knuckles
With sound effects
We got a '39 chevy...




Frank Zappa - Threesome No. 1

Apr 2002

  1. Hungry Freaks, Daddy
  2. I Ain't Got No Heart
  3. Who Are the Brain Police?
  4. Go Cry on Somebody Else's Shoulder
  5. Motherly Love
  6. How Could I Be Such a Fool
  7. Wowie Zowie
  8. You Didn't Try to Call Me
  9. Any Way the Wind Blows
  10. I'm Not Satisfied
  11. You're Probably Wondering Why I'm Here
  12. Trouble Every Day
  13. Help, I'm a Rock
  14. The Return of the Son of Monster Magnet
  15. Plastic People
  16. The Duke of Prunes
  17. Amnesia Vivace
  18. The Duke Regains His Chops
  19. Call Any Vegetable
  20. Invocation & Ritual Dance of the Young Pumpkin
  21. Soft-Sell Conclusion
  22. Big Leg Emma
  23. Why Don'tcha Do Me Right?
  24. America Drinks
  25. Status Back Baby
  26. Uncle Bernie's Farm
  27. Son Of Suzy Creamcheese
  28. Brown Shoes Don't Make It
  29. America Drinks & Goes Home
  30. Are You Hung Up
  31. Who Needs the Peace Corps
  32. Concentration Moon
  33. Mom and Dad
  34. Harry, You're a Beast
  35. What's the Ugliest Part
  36. Absolutely Free
  37. Flower Punk
  38. Hot Poop
  39. Nasal Retentive Calliope Music
  40. Let's Make the Water Turn Black
  41. Idiot Bastard Son
  42. Lonely Little Girl
  43. Take Your Clothes Off When You Dance
  44. Mother People
  45. The Chrome Plated Magaphone of Destiny


Uncle Bernie's Farm