Bizarre Christmas Incident Lyrics
The song Bizarre Christmas Incident is performed by Ben Folds Five .
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(Ho, ho, ho...Play it Grandpa...Yeah, play it...Let's tell them a little story
about what happened this Christmas.... Yeah, tell them... tell 'em 'bout
Christmas)
Christmas Eve, I didn't get much sleep
I kept hearing things, heavy breathing from the chimney
Who could it be?
(I'll tell you what it was... What happened then, Ben?... Yeah, what
happened?... Well, I went back to sleep... You went back to sleep? Back to
sleep? Shit... Tired man, went back to sleep)
And in the morning, I couldn't believe my eyes
A whale of a corpe with a long white beard
Was dangling over the fire
oh, Santa he's a big fat f**k
Went down the chimney got his fat a*s stuck
Oh, honey, call the lawyers fast
'Cause Mrs. Clause is gonna sue my a*s
hey, hey, hey
(Ok grandpa, step up, sing in this thing right here, tell 'em what you saw,
tell 'em what you saw grandpa)
I gotta tell you folks,
He wasn't wearin no clothes
He musta rubbed a whole gallon of Crisco oil
from his back down to his toes
While I was talking to the cops outside
The dog was lickin Crisco off of his thighs
They hauled him away in a double-wide
What a sad, sad way to die
Hey, hey, hey
Santa, he's a big, fat f**k
went down the chimney, got his fat a*s
oh, honey call the lawyers fast,
Mrs. Claus is gonna sue our a*s