Bizarre Christmas Incident

Ho, ho, ho, play it grandpa Yeah, play it, let's tell them a little story About what happened this Christmas Yeah, tell them, tell 'em 'bout Christmas Christmas eve, I didn't get much sleep I kept hearing things, heavy breathing from the chimney Who could it be? I'll tell you what it was What happened then, Ben? Yeah, what happened? Well, I went back to sleep You went back to sleep? Back to sleep? Shit tired man, went back to sleep And in the morning, I couldn't believe my eyes A whale of a corpe with a long white beard Was dangling over the fire Oh, Santa he's a big fat f**k Went down the chimney got his fat a*s stuck Oh, honey, call the lawyers fast 'Cause Mrs. Clause is gonna sue my a*s Hey, hey, hey Okay grandpa, step up Sing in this thing right here Tell 'em what you saw Tell 'em what you saw grandpa I gotta tell you folks He wasn't wearin' no clothes He musta rubbed a whole gallon of Crisco oil From his back down to his toes While I was talking to the cops outside The dog was lickin' Crisco off of his thighs They hauled him away in a double wide What a sad, sad way to die Hey, hey, hey Santa, he's a big, fat f**k Went down the chimney, got his fat a*s Oh, honey call the lawyers fast Mrs. Claus is gonna sue our a*s