Goalhanger

He's got the bonhomie of a game show host And his handshake is so limp, it's like meeting a ghost His apologies are tired 'cause he uses them a lot His excuses are so lame if they were horses they'd be shot He lies through his teeth with impeccable grammar In the game of life he's just a dreadful goalhanger He's keeping all his options open till the very last minute Checking every situation trying to work out what's in it Trying to nail him down is like nailing water to a wall He's incapable of making a commitment at all Like trying to knock in a nail with an inflatable hammer In the game of life he's just a dreadful goalhanger Yesterday upon the stair I met a man who's never there He won't be there again today Well, that's what he told me to say He's got the natural arrogance of an exclamation mark And he wishes his bite was as big as his bark He's appealing to the referee at every single stage He's a fuzzy little bundle of impotent rage And when he ought to have patience, he only has anger In the game of life he's just a dreadful goalhanger He has a lack of humility that defies imagination And he hangs 'round like a fart in a Russian space station He doesn't even notice as he sells you down the river 'Cause he's one of life's takers and he's looking for a giver He smirks and shrugs his shoulders as he drops another clanger In the game of life he's just a dreadful goalhanger