The All-American Boy

(SPOKEN IN A SING-SONG PATTER RATHER THAN SUNG) Gather 'round, cats, and I'll tell you a story About how to become an All American Boy Buy you a gittar and put it in tune You'll be rockin' and rollin' soon. Impressin' the girls, pickin' hot licks, and all that jazz I-I bought me a gittar a year ago Learned how to play in a day or so And all around town it was well understood That I was knockin' 'em out like Johnny B. Goode Hot licks, showin' off, ah number one. Well , I 'd practice all day and up into the night My papa's hair was turnin' white Cause he didn't like rock'n'roll He said "You can stay, boy, but that's gotta go." He's a square, he just didn't dig me at all So I took my gittar, picks and all And bid farewell to my poor ole pa And I split for Memphis where they say all Them swingin' cats are havin' a ball Sessions, hot licks and all, they dig me I was rockin' and boppin' and I's a gettin' the breaks The girls all said that I had what it takes When up stepped a man with a big cigar He said "come here, cat--I'm gonnna make you a star." "I'll put you on Bandstand, buy ya a Cadillac, sign here, kid." I signed my name and became a star Havin' a ball with my gittar Driving a big long Cadillac and fightin' the girls off ma back They just kept a'comin', screamin', yeah-they like it So I'd pick my gittar with a great big grin And the money just kept on pourin' in But then one day my Uncle Sam He said (sound of 3 footsteps) "Here I am" "Uncle Sam needs you, boy I'm-a gonna cut your hair ah-Take this rifle, kid Gimme that gittar" yeah.