Sister Mary Elephant

TEACHER: Good morning, cla*s. Good morning, cla*s. Cla*s? Cla*s!? SHUT UP!!!!! Thank you. As you know your regular teacher Sister Rosetta Stone is on a small vacation. However she does send her love, at least fingerpaintings, and desk club she`s making. I am your substitute teacher, Sister Mary Elephant. Cla*s, attention. Attention, cla*s! Cla*s? SHUT UP!!!!! Thank you. Young man, now give me that knife. Thank you. Now cla*s, you all know who I am, so let`s find out who you are. Cla*s? Cla*s!? SHUT UP!!!!! CHONG: Far out, man! TEACHER: Thank you. Now cla*s, Sister Rosetta has informed me that your a*signment for the last two months has been to write an essay in titled How I Spent My Summer Vacation. Who would like to read theirs before the cla*s? Cla*s? Cla*s!? Cla-- SHUT UP!!!!! Thank you. Young man in the first row, stand up, state your name, and read your essay. STUDENT: Who me? TEACHER: Yes. Read your essay, please! STUDENT: Uh, I don`t have it finished yet. TEACHER: Well then, read what you have, young man! STUDENT: Okay. The first day on my vacation, what I did on my summer vacation, the first day on my vacation, I woke up. Then, I went downtown to a quiet job. Then I hung out in front of the drugstore. The second day on my summer vacation, I woke up, then I went downtown to look for a job. Then I hung out in front of the drugstore. The third day on my summer vacation, I woke up... TEACHER: Now that`s fine, young man! STUDENT : ...Then I went downtown to look for a job... TEACHER: Now that`s fine, young man! STUDENT : ...Then I got a job, keeping people from here and out in front of the drugstore. The fourth day on my... TEACHER: Young man? Young man? Young man!? SHUT UP!!!!! Thank you. Now cla*s, I have a surprise for you! I`m going to read you some poems out of this lovely book of poetry. The sun kisses the morning skies. The birds kiss the butterflies. The dew kisses the morning gra*s. Cla*s? Cla*s!? Cla-- WAKE UP!!!!! CHONG: I gotta go to the can, man!