The Great Outdoors!

All you la*ses in Parna*sus, swallowing swords Shooting out fire at us heathen hordes I was thinkin' something before I began But then you done cut off both of my hands Now I do my drinking from bamboo straws Constantly kicking at tarantulas What was I thinking, move to Baltimore? Oh yeah, the great outdoors! Jump into the water Keel-hauled on the Constellation Don't sell my belongings 'Cause you know that I'll be baaack Remember when I told ya that I was a samurai? Well the fact of the matter is, that was a lie There were some other things that I'd rather not recall Y'all can blame it all on the alcohol But you ain't got no business criticizing me This is my house and I'll do as I please What was I thinking, move to Baltimore? Oh yeah, the great outdoors! Jump into the water Keel-hauled on the Constellation Don't sell my belongings 'Cause you know that I'll be baaack Move it on over and give me a slice If you're in the market for green zucchini Farmers' Almanac got the largest size Winnebago woman, whatcha cookin'? Move it on over and give me a slice I'd be a richer man today if it weren't for physics If I could levitate I would sell lots of tickets And maybe do an interview with Larry King while flooooaaaating I'd be a richer man today if it weren't for physics If I could levitate I would sell lots of tickets Move it on over and give me a slice