I'm Afraid of Japan

Nippon, won't you take me into your arms and make me Into a sergeant, emboldened and enlargened For some the spell was shafted, but I am in your sway Yes, I am still enchanted by the ways of yesterday To the public park I walk with my new wife And in the summer heat, I lose my head I tell her that the army needs a modus operandi I tell her where I really went that evening in Chelsea I tell her I don't think I'll last another single night She says, Yeah, right If I do it with an ice pick, will I come back as a jock? If I fast until starvation will I be born again a Christian? I hear that death by burning means returning as a girl But only by seppuku can I retain my virtue But all my efforts have only made An army of greedy gays Will no one read The Sound Of Waves? Oh, oh, I am afraid.