Nanook Rubs It

*(Well, right about that time people A fur-trapper (who was strictly from commercial) Had the unmitigated audacity to jump up from behind my igloo (peekaboo) ) And he started into whippin' on my favorite baby seal With a lead-filled snowshoe)* I said, with a Lead- Filled With a lead filled snowshoe He said, "Peekaboo" I said, with a Lead- Filled With a lead filled snowshoe He said, "Peekaboo" He went right upside the head of my favorite baby seal he went "whap" with a lead-filled snowshoe, and he hit him on the nose and hit him on the fin, and he that got me just about as evil as an eskimo boy can be. So I bent down and I reached down, and I scooped down and I gathered up a generous mitten-ful of the deadly *YELLOW SNOW* The deadly yellow snow, from right there where the huskies go! Whereupon I proceeded to take that mittenful of the deadly yellow snow crystals and rub it all into his beady little eyes with a vigorous circular motion hitherto unknown to the people of this area, but destined to take the place of the mudshark in your mythology here it goes,the circular motion, now Rub It! *(Here Fido)* And then In a fit of anger I pounced And I pounced again Great Googly Moogly! I jumped up and down on the chest of the him I injured The fur trapper Well he was very upset, as you can understand And rightly so, because the Deadly yellow snow crystals had Deprived him of his Sight And he stood up, and he looked around, and he said "I can't see" "I can't see" "Oh, woe is me" "I can't see" "Well.....you know I can't see Nothin'" "He took a dog-doo snow cone and stuffed it in my right eye He took a dog-doo snow cone and stuffed it in my other eye And the husky wee-wee I mean the doggie wee-wee Has blinded me And I can't see Temporarily" Well, the fur-trapper stood there, with his arms outstretched across the frozen white wasteland, trying to figure out what he was going to do about his deflicted eyes. And it was at that precise moment that he remembered and ancient Eskimo legend, wherein it is written (on whatever it is that they write it on up there) that if anything bad ever happens to your eyes as the result of some sort of conflict with anyone named Nanook, the only way you can get it fixed up is to go Trudging across the tundra Mile after mile Trudging across the tundra Right down to the parish of St. Alphonzo