The Battle Of Epping Forest

Along the forest road there's hundreds of cars, luxury cars Each has got its load of convertible bars, cutlery cars, super scars For today is the day when they sort it out, sort it out 'Cause they disagree on a gangland boundary They disagree on a gangland boundary There's Willy Wright and his boys, one helluva noise That's Billy's boys with fully-fashioned mugs That's little John's thugs, the barking slugs, super smugs For today is the day when they sort it out, sort it out Yes, these Christian soldiers fight to protect the poor East end heroes got to score in the battle of Epping forest Yes, it's the battle of Epping forest right outside your door And you ain't seen nothing like it No, you ain't seen nothing like it Not since the civil war Comin' over the hill are the boys of Bill And Johnny's lads stand very still With the thumpires shout, they all start to clout There's no guns in this gentleman's bout And Georgie moves in on the outside left With a chain flying round his head And Harold Demure, from art literature Nips up the nearest tree, here come the cavalry Amidst the battle roar, accountants keep the score, 10-4 They've never been alone, after getting a radiophone The bluebells are ringing for sweet meal Sam, real ham Handin' out bread and jam just like any picnic, picnic, picnic, picnic It's 5 to 4 on William Wright, he made his pile on derby night When Billy was a kid walking the streets, the other kids hid, so they did And now after workin' hard in security trade, he's got it made The shops that need aid are those that haven't paid "I do my double-show quick" Said Mick the prick, fresh out the Nick "I sold cheap holiday, the minute they leave Then a visit I pay an' does it pay" His friend, liquid Len by name, of wine, women and wands worth fame Said, "I'm breaking the legs of the bastard that got me framed" I'm breaking the legs of the bastard that got me framed, got me framed They called me the reverend when I entered the church unstained My employers have changed but the name has remained All began when I went on a tour, hoping to find some furniture I followed a sign, it said, 'Beautiful Chest" It led to a lady who showed me her best She was taken by surprise when I quickly closed my eyes So she rang the bell, and quick as hell Bob the nob, came out on his job to see what the trouble was "Louise, is the reverend hard to please? " "You're telling me!" "Perhaps, sir, if its not too late We could interest you in our old-fashioned Stafford shire plate? " "Oh no, not me, I'm a man of repute" But the devil caught hold of my soul and a voice called out "Shoot!" To save my steeple, I visited people For this I'd gone when I met little John His name came, I understood When the judge said, "You're a robbing hood" He told me of his strange foundation Conceived on sight of the Woodstock nation He'd had to hide his reputation When poor, 'twas salvation from door to door But now, with a pin-up guru every week It was love, peace and truth incorporated for all who seek He employed me as a karma-ma-mechanic, with overall charms His hands were then fit to receive, receive alms That's why we're in the battle of Epping forest Yes, it's the battle of Epping forest Right outside your door We guard your souls for peanuts And we guard your shops and houses For just a little more, just a little more In with a left hook is the bethnal green butcher But hes countered on the right by Mick's chain-gang fight And liquid Len, with his smashed bottle men Is lobbing Bob the nob across the gob With his kisser in a mess, Bob seems under stress But Jones the jug hits Len right in the mug And Harold Demure, who's still not quite sure Fires acorns from out of his sling, here come the cavalry Up, up above the crowd Inside their silver cloud, done proud The bold and brazen bra*s, seen darkly through the gla*s The butlers got jam on his rolls, Roy Doles out the lot With tea from a silver pot just like any picnic, picnic, picnic, picnic Along the forest road, its the end of the day And the clouds roll away Each has got its load, they'll come out for the count At the breakin' of day When the limos return for their final review, it's all through All they can see is the morning goo "There's no one left alive, must be a draw" So the black cap barons toss a coin to settle the score