You Didn't Know Me When

There's a few things I haven't told you And before you hear them from someone else To clear up misconceptions I'd rather tell you myself There was a time I rode a roller coaster From Coney Island to Key West I held on with one finger So the other ten could rest It may be hard to believe Hard to comprehend But baby, you didn't know me when I played third chair trombone In an out-of-work polka band We looked for gigs on ships In countries that had no land It may be hard to believe We hit the top ten But baby, you didn't know me when If you want a resume I'll put it in writing It's only good for a day and the contents are frightening I gave long-winded speeches I was a head-of-state I wrote an endless novel Called See Jane Love And Hate It may be hard to believe I'm reticent But baby, you didn't know me when