Jackie

And if one day I should become A singer with a Spanish bum Who sings for women of great virtue I'd sing to them with a guitar I borrowed from coffee bar Well, what you don't know doesn't hurt you My name would be Antonio And all my bridges I would burn And if I gave them some they'd know I expect something in return I'd have to get drunk every night To talk about virility With some old grandmother who might Be decked out like a Christmas tree And tho' pink elephants I'd see I'd sing the song they sang to me About the time they called me Jackie If I could be for only an hour If I could be for an hour every day If I could be for just one little hour Cute, cute, cute in a stupid-a*s way And if I joined the social whirl Became procurer of young girls Then I would have my own bordellos My record would be number one And I'd sell records by the ton All sung by many other fellows My name would then be handsome Jack And I'd sell boats of opium Whiskey that came from Twickenham Authentic queers and phony virgins I'd have a bank on every finger A finger in every country And every country ruled by me I still know where I'd want to be Locked up inside my opium den Surrounded by some Chinamen I'd sing the song that I sang then About the time they called me Jackie If I could be for only an hour If I could be for an hour every day If I could be for just one little hour Cute, cute, cute in a stupid-a*s way Now tell me wouldn't it be nice That if one day in Paradise I sang for all the ladies up there And they would sing along with me We'd be so happy there to be 'Cause down below is really nowhere My name would then be Jupiter And I would know where I was going And then I would become all knowing With my beard so long and flowing If I became deaf dumb and blind Because I pitied all mankind And broke my heart to make things right I know that every single night when my angelic work was through The angels and the devil too Would sing my childhood song to me About the time they called me Jackie If I could be for only an hour If I could be for an hour every day If I could be for just one little hour Cute, cute, cute in a stupid-a*s way