Loveless Motel

It used to be a motel, now they serve biscuits and T-shirts I bring my own tea bag, I don't trust the coffee But the biscuits are delicious, they come eight to a plate With a big block of butter and homemade peach preserves And I wish you were here, my arrogant lover, I'd make you eat grits And the red-eyed gravy, I'd make you sit down with the southern ladies And their blue pantsuits, I'd talk about Jesus, talk about the weather Watch you squirm as I told them we were married with two girls I'd say you were in trucking and I was a teacher in a Christian school Where the kids are good and they don't do drugs and they Save themselves before they're married, I wouldn't tell them You had a wife, that wasn't me and we just had s*x And they wouldn't be impressed if I told them you knew Lou Reed And the stars upon the walls look down at me like gods There's Ernest Borgnine and Billy Ray Cyrus and my favorite Minnie Pearl So I go for the coffee, it's not bad just a little weak And I ask the waitress for another plate of the famous biscuits She said you must have a bottomless pit I said you don't know the half of it, lately I've been so hungry And the stars upon the wall look down at me like gods Minnie, she just shakes her head She said, "Girl, get your heart out of the frying pan" It used to be a motel, now they serve biscuits and smoked ham I write you a postcard from the 'Loveless Motel'