Table For One

I'm walking down in the basement I'm leaning on the washing machine I'm reaching back through a hole in the wall's insulation I'm pulling out a bottle of vodka Replacing that with a pint of Jim Bean I'm lying down on the floor until I feel better It's morning and I pour myself coffee I drink it 'til the kitchen stops shaking I'm backing out of the driveway and into creation And the loving spirit that follows me Watching helplessly, will always forgive me Oh, I wanna die alone with my sympathy beside me I wanna bring down all those demons who drank with me Feasting bleed through me, on my desperation I hide all the bottles in places They find and confront me with pain in their eyes And I promise that I'll make some changes But reaching back it occurs to me There will always be some kind of crisis for me Oh, I wanna die alone with my sympathy beside me I wanna bring back all those moments they stole from me In my reverie, darkening days end Oh, I wanna die alone with my memories inside me I wanna live that life when I could say people had faith in me I still see that guy in my memory Oh, I wanna die alone with my sympathy beside me I wanna bring down all those people who drank with me Watching happily, my humiliation