1-900-L.L. Cool J

[phone rings twice] Yo.. "Hello 1-900-LL Cool J?" Yeah wha*sup? "Can you please bust a funky rhyme for me?" Yeah I can do that, check this one out honey I motivate, accelerate Devestate, and dominate I don't smoke crack so I won't lose weight Give me the {pus*y} and the money and the mic and I'm straight Go to a resteraunt, give me steak Then cook my chicken with Shake'n'Bake I leave all the preachin to Reverand Flake How much money can one black man make? Huh I'm what's known as a true dynamiter I write rhymes fast without a typewriter Go with the flow, but no, I'm not a biter Can't compare a cock-a-roach and a spider Hell, you might as well get a gla*s of punch cause you're bitin my lyrics like a Nestle Crunch, huh And bitin my rhymes ain't slick I got your gold teeth marks all over my [phone rings] Complications and aggravation An unnecessary-sation I'm like Sunkist, good vibrations Your al-blum, sounds like a compilation Cool out, grab a seat and listen.. cause I'ma start dismissin s*cker MC's who's out there frontin Talkin all that yang, yo you smokin somethin Shoulda treated me royal, yo he wasn't loyal Now it's all about chaos and turmoil .. gimme that microphone I'ma show you the real meaning of the danger zone [phone rings] Yo.. "Hello is this 1-900-LL Cool J?" Yeah wha*sup? "Can you tell me what you do when you're coolin out?" Yo check this out Now when I'm coolin out, no time for a granny Just a fly girl in t-shirt and panties "Can LL {*censored*}?" Man, can he? I tell you what, give up the fanny Cause on a bedroom tomb, J swift Not too big, but nothin to play with In addition, you on a mission You need to audition for another position Doin damage is a crew tradition Name your next al-blum intermission You're full of preservatives -- plus, you're too conservative I'm full of flair, savoir faire, debonairre There's no competition, for this here So don't waste your time and breath I'm givin you all a big F MC's I envelop.. .. as the song goes on, the rhyme develops I'm asiatic, acrobatic, charismatic You don't want no static Anyway, I ain't havin it! When I see the microphone -- I'm grabbin it Plug it in and take charge LL XL, Xtra-Large KnowhatI'msayin? Peace [phone rings three times] Hello? Hello wha*sup girl? How you doin girl? I been tryin to call you all day Word up I was talkin to LL he was kickin some mo' HYPED up rhymes to me Word, I spoke to him today too - them rhymes WAS pumpin Well not to cut you short but I gotta go cause my man is here Alright See-ya