Stand Up Comic

Now I don't mind if fifty thousand yobos pick me up Outside a football ground on a Saturday afternoon I'll still come out fighting, do you know why? You've seen me on television, I'm the lowest common denominator And this is all about your culture, so welcome to jolly Ol' England I'm the stand up comic Jack the lad has become Oscar Wilde And the followers of style say, "It's the latest thing" And William Shakespeare is the schmooze of the week And anyone who says different is a f**kin' antique And Noel Coward has become very hard and the comic says "Bullocks" and everybody laughs and that's that Style, I mean, never was much, never has been But the little bit that was was all that we had And the clown does a belch and we all belch back And that's that Jack the lad has become Fancy Dan And creating agro culture with a rub on tan And all the tearaways, have got savior faire And the working cla*s hero's got a tinted hair And a well spoken hero from a yesteryear Walks out onto a stage and they all shout (Queer) And that's that Manners, I mean, never was much, never has been But the little bit that was was all that we had And now the clown does a fart and we all fart back And that's that Stand up, stand up, can you hear me at the back? All you white boys standing in a row And the comic shouts and we all shout back And the mob says, "Follow", so we go Stand up, stand up, can you hear me at the back? All you white boys standing in a row And the comic shouts and we all shout back And the mob says, "Follow", so we go and that's that What do you think of it so far? I knew you'd say that You've been watching too much television Together now Jack the lad has become Oscar Wilde And the followers of style say it's the latest thing And William Shakespeare is the schmooze of the week And anyone who says different is an antique And Noel Coward has become very odd and the comic says "Bollocks" and everybody laughs and that's that Style, I mean, never was much, never has been But the little bit that was was all that we had And the clown does a belch and we all belch back And that's that, all together now Stand up, stand up, can you hear me at the back? All you white boys standing in a row And the comic shouts and we all shout back And the mob says, "Follow", so we go Stand up, stand up, can you hear me at the back? All you white boys standing in a row And the comic shouts and we all shout back And the mob says, "Follow", so we go and that's that Well, I'm going down the pub now, you're welcome To join me if you like but I know you won't You've all been watching too much television Well, I'll be in the public bar, minding my own business