Callin' In Twisted

I'm calling in sick I'm calling in twisted I was drinking two-fisted I'm sick I'm calling in twisted Hanging with friends We were doing slammers They try and get me hammered Boss, I said no But they insisted I'm calling in sick I'm calling in bland The biggest Freak-a-zoid ever known to man I'm sick I'm calling in twisted I'm calling in sick I'm calling in tired Look man I am oh so wired I'm sick I'm calling in twisted Won't be the first time I lost a good job Look at me now - a drunken slob I'm sick I'm calling in twisted I'm calling in pissed Hung over y'all I'm gonna use the fake cough when I make that call I'm sick I'm calling in twisted I'm calling in sick I'm calling in twisted I was drinking two-fisted I'm sick I'm calling in twisted I'm calling in pissed Hung over y'all I'm gonna use the fake cough when I make that call I'm sick I'm calling in twisted Yeah I'm sick I'm calling in twisted Yeah I'm sick I'm calling in twisted Yeah I'm sick I'm calling in twisted