800 Pound Jesus

I saw a garage sale Pulled up in the yard Found a statue of Jesus It was eight feet tall He held out his arms And he seemed all alone So I loaded him up And drove him home Out by my driveway he Looks down the street With his long hair and sandals made Of rebar and concrete I painted him white with a long purple robe He's a rock of ages on our gravel road Chorus He's an eight-hundred pound Jesus Standing taller than a tree He's an eight-hundred pound Jesus A bigger man than you or me I thought loosin' my job was The end of the world Till my best pal ran off with my best girl I felt suicidal with no real friends So I walked outside with a rope in my hand Out by that statue there's a big old tree So I stood on his shoulders And I counted to three I had every intention of buying the farm But when I jumped off he caught me in his arms Chorus I wanted to return the favor to him Cause I never had a more solid friend So I planted some flowers All around his feet And I bought him a flock Of ceramic sheep Chorus He's a bigger man Than you or me