Mind Of My Own

It's four o' clock The TV's on My mind is shut off and my own thoughts are gone I change my mind I change the channel I am influenced by everything I see I change my life I want to leave it all behind And I can't help it now 'Cause I don't have a mind of my own Everything in my life just thinks for me Trapped by depression and I sleep all day Can't help this habit I'm in love with my disease Worshiping my idle time a life I cannot seize But zanax, valium, attavan makes it all ok It's so much more than a cry for attention No loving hands can soothe this ache It's my own degradation it's my own self hate So much more than a war with the world I preach my pessimism Right out loud to anyone who'll listen I'm not afraid to be alive I'm afraid to be alone Late at night my monsters find me From under the bed or right out of my past Sanity gets put to the test All alone with nobody to talk to I close my eyes but I'm still haunted Sometimes I get too twisted to sleep As all my world crumbles all around me Inspirations become admissions of defeat Everything in my life just thinks for me'Cause I don't have a mind of my own