The Knicker Elastic King

He used to travel in bath cubes Until the slump came, faced with redundancy He turned his mind to other things And soon became a household name Knicker Elastic, everybody used it Knicker Elastic, nobody refused it The Knicker Elastic King The Knicker Elastic King A self-made man with a business to run And something to sell to everyone The Knicker Elastic King He grew so rich the Gnomes of Zurich were green with envy The darling of the stock exchange Made the New Year's honors list And won the Queen's Award to Industry Knicker Elastic, essence of propriety Knicker Elastic, upholder of society The Knicker Elastic King Ooh, la la His rubber business kept expanding But then disaster Ee bah gum The price of raw materials coupled with inflation Squeezed his global holdings His liquid a*sets bottomed out And shrunk his retail outlet operation And that's the story of The Knicker Elastic King And market forces, The Knicker Elastic King Horses for courses A self-made man with a business to run Something to sell to everyone The Knicker Elastic King Ooh, la la The Knicker Elastic King