I Almost Had A Weakness

Thank you for the flowers, I threw them on the fire And I burned the photographs that you had enclosed God, they were ugly children So you're the little bastard of that brother of mine Trying to trick a poor old woman 'Til I almost had a weakness Last week Cousin Florence bit your Uncle Joe Hit him on the forehead with a knife and a fork Said that he looked like the devil Then she said, "Pa*s the vinegar," I'm beginning to think That I'm the only one who hasn't taken to the drinking of it Though I almost had a weakness It pains me to mention these delicate concerns But while I have to tolerate you family jewels I really mustn't grumble 'Cause when I die the cats and dogs will jump up and down And you little swines will get nothing Though I almost had a weakness