Johnny Tarr

Lemme tell you a little story About a man named Johnny Tarr He was a hard drinking son of a preacher Always at the bar Lager from the tap Or shots of Paddy from the shelf He could open his throttle And throw back a bottle As quick as the Devil himself, Johnny Tarr And the word got around That Johnny Tarr was no pretender From Claire to here they'd lock up the beer When Johnny went on a bender Down at d**key Mack's The Rising Sun, or at the Swan He was drinking at seven, by ten to eleven Well, all the booze would be gone, Johnny Tarr And even if you saw it yourself, you wouldn't believe it But I wouldn't trust a person like me, if I were you Sure I wasn't there, I swear I have an alibi I heard it from a man who knows a fella who says it's true It was nine in the morning On a cold and rainy night Johnny rolled into the Castle Bar Looking to get tight He had money in his pocket He had whiskey in his eye He said, "Get up off your a*ses And set up the gla*ses I'm drinking this place dry" Now all the serious boozers They were soon broken hearted When Johnny finished off six And he was only getting started Guzzling down the pints Knockin' em back like candy He was lookin' alright to be drinkin' all night Then Nora brought out the brandy, Johnny Tarr And even if you saw it yourself, you wouldn't believe it But I wouldn't trust a person like me, if I were you Sure I wasn't there, I swear I have an alibi I heard it from a man who knows a fella who says it's true Johnny drank the whole damn bottle Had another pint or two When it made no impression He started a session with Murphy's Millennium Brew He was waiting for his pint When his face turned green Jesus, Johnny fell down After only fifteen And you could've heard a pin drop Then the crowd let out a roar It took five Cork women To lift Johnny off the floor The doctor looked him over And said, "Better call the hearse But it's not what you're thinkin' It wasn't the drinkin' this man died of thirst" Johnny Tarr And even if you saw it yourself, you wouldn't believe it But I wouldn't trust a person like me, if I were you Sure I wasn't there, I swear I have an alibi I heard it from a man who knows a fella who says it's true And even if you saw it yourself, you wouldn't believe it But I wouldn't trust a person like me, if I were you Sure I wasn't there, I swear I have an alibi I heard it from a man who knows a fella who says it's true