No News

She said, "It's just a woman thing" And pulled out of the drive And I said not to worry I'm an understanding guy I heard that when you love someone You gotta let 'em go She hollered, "When I find myself You'll be the first to know" Ooo hooo no news I learned to do the laundry Feed the cat and clean the house I promised to be patient While she worked her problems out When she packed her bags Her destination was unclear But I sensed that her intentions Were honest and sincere Ooo hooo no news She could telephone, tell a friend Tell a lie about where she's been Send a pigeon, send a fax Write it on a post-it pad Send a signal up in smoke Tap it out in Morse code I'd prefer a bad excuse to no news Her momma's been a little vague As to her whereabouts Her sister says, "I'm certain Your romance is headed south" I don't have a single doubt That she's still in love My level of anxiety Is just a product of Ooo hooo no news She could telephone, tell a friend Tell a lie about where she's been Send a pigeon, send a fax Write it on a post-it pad Send a signal up in smoke Tap it out in Morse code I'd prefer a bad excuse She missed her bus, missed her plane Surely, this can be explained Lost her car at the mall Got locked in a bathroom stall Playing guitar with the band On the road with pearl jam Buried with the grateful dead Came back as a parrot head Got derailed, got de-iced Offered as a sacrifice FBI, CIA, if they've seen her They ain't saying No news! Still no news!