If That Ain't Country

The old man was covered with tattoos and scars He got some in prison and others in bars The rest he got workin' on old junk cars in the daytime They looked like tombstones in our yard And I never seen him when he wasn't tired and mean He sold used parts to make ends meet Covered with grease from his head to his feet Cussin' the sweat and the Texas heat and mosquiters And the neighbors said we lived like hicks But they brung their cars for pa to fix anyhow He was veteran-proud tried and true He'd fought till his heart was black and blue Didn't know how he'd made it through the hard times He bought our house on the GI Bill But it wasn't worth all he had to kill to git it He drank pearl in a can and Jack Daniels black Chewed tobacco from a mail pouch sack Had an old dog that was trained to attack sometimes He'd get drunk and mean as a rattlesnake And there wasn't too much that he would take from a stranger There were thirteen kids and a bunch of dogs A house full of chickens and a yard full of hogs I spent the summertime cuttin' up logs for the winter Tryin' like the devil to find the Lord Workin' like a nigger for my room and board Coal-burin' stove no natural gas if that ain't country I'll kiss your a*s If that ain't country it'll hairlip the pope If that ain't country it's a damn good joke I've seen the Grand Ole Opry and I've met Johnny Cash If that ain't country I'll kiss your a*s [ steel ] Mama sells eggs at a grocery store my oldest sister is a first-rate whore Dad says she can't come home anymore and he means it Ma just sits and keeps her silence Sister she left cause dad got violent and he knows it Mama she's old far beyond her time From chopping tobacco and I've seen her cryin' When blood started flowin' from her calloused hand and it hurt me She'd just keep workin' tryin' to help the old man To the end of one row and back again like always She's been through hell since junior went to jail When the lights go out she ain't never failed To get down on her knees and pray because she loves him Told all the neighbors he was off in the war Fightin' for freedom he's good to the core and she's proud Now our place was a graveyard for automobiles At the end of the porch there was four stacks of wheels And tires for sale for a dollar or two cash There was fifty holes in an old tin roof Me and my family we was livin' proof The people who forgot about poor white trash And if that ain't country I'll kiss your a*s If that ain't country... I'm thinking tonight of my blue eyes concerning the great speckled bird I didn't know God made honky tonk angels and went back to the wild side of life