Luckiest Loser

Man, you're really one heck of a guy Best friend since junior high You showed me Playboy for the very first time That was rad We saw Bon Jovi, we sat in the front row I pierced your ear right before the show We stole your brother's beer And he didn't know Your new girlfriend is a son of a gun Did you fall in love Or did you just wanna get some? That girl is crazy, she's a loco-motion I know you know she used to be my girl You better run for cover 'Cause she's ticking like a time bomb And did I mention that you both s*ck.com Now you're stuck with her Like Mellencamp is stuck with Cougar I guess that makes me the luckiest loser I met her at a kegger, pa*sed out in the yard Getting in her pants wasn't really that hard 6 months later, she crashed my car That was rad She's got a glow from her spray on tan Marilyn Manson is her favorite band I really think she might worship Satan Not a band Your new boyfriend is a son of a gun Did you fall in love Or did you just wanna get some? That girl is crazy, she's a loco-motion I know you know she used to be my girl You better run for cover 'Cause she's ticking like a time bomb And did I mention that you both s*ck.com? Now she's stuck with you Like a frat guy with a bad tattoo Like Celebrity Golf with Alice Cooper Guess that makes me the luckiest loser Mel Gibson, Danny Glover You deserve each other A 'Lethal Weapon' when you take her home To meet your mother She was a superstar Back seat of my car Those days are over Now life goes on, yeah Your new girlfriend is a son of a gun Did you fall in love Or did you just wanna get some? That girl is crazy, she's a loco-motion I know you know she used to be my girl You better run for cover 'Cause she's ticking like a time bomb And did I mention that you both s*ck.com? Now your stuck with her Like Mellencamp is stuck with Cougar Like number two on a pooper scooper I guess that makes me the luckiest loser (That girl is crazy, she's a loco-motion) Luckiest loser (I know you know she used to be my girl) Luckiest loser (You better run for cover) Luckiest loser ('Cause she's ticking like a time bomb) (And did I mention that you both s*ck?)