Merry Fucking Christmas

I heard there is no Christmas In the silly Middle East No trees, no snow, no Santa Claus They have different religious beliefs They believe in Muhammad And not in our holiday And so every December I go to the Middle East and say Hey there, Mr. Muslim Merry f**kin' Christmas Put down that book, 'The Koran' And hear some holiday wishes In case you haven't noticed It's Jesus' Birthday So get off your heathen Muslim a*s And f**kin' celebrate There is no holiday season In India, I've heard They don't hang up their stockings And that is just absurd They've never read a Christmas story They don't know what Rudolph is about And that's why in December I'll go to India and shout Hey there, Mr. Hinduist Merry f**kin' Christmas Drink egg nog, and eat some beef And pa*s it to the Missus In case you haven't noticed It's Jesus's Birthday So get off your heathen Hindu a*s And f**kin' celebrate Now I heard that in Japan Everyone just lives in sin They pray to several Gods And put needles in their skin On December twenty-fifth All they do is eat a cake And that is why I'll go to Japan And walk around and say Hey there, Mr. Shintoist Merry f**kin' Christmas God is gonna kick your a*s You infidelic pagan scum In case you haven't noticed There's festive things to do So let's all rejoice for Jesus And Merry f**kin' Christmas to you On Christmas Day, I travel 'round the world and say Taoists, Krishna's, Buddhists and all you atheists too Merry f**kin' Christmas to you Thank you, Mr. Hat