The Most Offensive Song Ever Lyrics

Howdy Ho!
The Virgin Mary was sleeping
When Angel Gabriel appeared.
He said, "you are to be the virgin mother,"
And Mary thought that was weird.
[Mary said, "I'm not a virgin
I blew a guy last year"]
But then, Gabriel said to Mary,
"My child, have no fear:

["'Cause you can s*ck all the d**k you want]
And still be a Virgin, Mary.
[You can s*ck all the d**k you want,]
And still not be considered flawed.
[Though, Mary, you went to town,
and s*cked some semen down,]
You're still still a virgin
In the eyes of god!"

There was no room at the Inn
When Mary and Joseph did arrive.
They were so very tired, you see,
[and Mary had to offer him a bribe.]
Said she had no money,
[and they had no place to sleep.]
Gabriel appeared to Mary,
And told her not to weep.

["'Cause you can s*ck all the d**k you want]
And still be a Virgin, Mary.
[you can s*ck all the d**k you want]
And still be the mother of Christ.
If there's no room at the Inn,
then it's not considered a sin
[to s*ck a d**k to get a room for free!"]

That's right..

And three wisemen did appear
Bearing gifts of myrrh and such.
They said that they had followed a star,
And missed a woman's touch.
[Mary thought that she might pleasure them,
But could not take them to bed.]
But, again, Gabriel appeared to her
And this is what he said...

["You can s*ck all the d**k you want,]
And still be a Virgin, Mary.
[You can s*ck all the d**k you want,]
Everyone in the nation.
[Fellatio ain't no sin,
So go and blow those three wise men!]
And you'll still be a virgin,
['Cause there ain't no penetration!"]

[You can s*ck all the d**k you want,]
And still be a Virgin, Mary!
[The donkey, or the ox and the lamb]
And even the little drummer boy.
Folks will remember your name quick!
[They'll say, "Damn, that bitch can s*ck a d**k"!]
['Cause s*cking d**k]
Brings peace on earth and joy.
['Cause s*cking d**k]
Brings peace on earth and joy.

[Mary, you can s*ck my d**k!]
[laughter]

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