Cold Hard Facts of Life

I got back in town a day before I'd planned to I smiled and said, I'll sure surprise my wife I don't think I'll phone, I'll just head on home For I didn't know the cold hard facts of life I pa*sed a little wine store on the corner I pictured big champagne by candle light I stopped the car right then got out and hurried in My mind not on the cold hard facts of life A stranger stood there laughing by the counter He said, "I'll take two bottles of your best" Her husband's out of town and there's a party He winkled as if to say you know the rest I left the store two steps behind the stranger From there to my house his car stayed in sight But it wasn't till he turned into my drive that I learned I was witnessing the cold hard facts of life I drove around the block till I was dizzy Each time the noise came louder from within And then I saw our bottle there beside me And I drank a fifth of courage and walked in Lord, you should've seen their frantic faces They screamed and cried, please put away that knife I guess I'll go to hell or I'll rot here in this cell But who taught who the cold hard facts of life Who taught who the cold hard facts of life